The Art of Umbracing Uncertainty
You can't control stormy seas. But you can build an impenetrable boat.
Life is filled with uncertainty. Whether it’s the fate of a relationship, the trajectory of a career, an upcoming difficult patient encounter, or the outcome of a medical diagnosis, we all encounter key moments of not knowing what will happen next. It’s natural to feel uneasy when the future is unclear.
When it comes to uncertainty, what helps me most is not so much focusing on the unknown nature of the outcome itself but reminding myself that I will be ok regardless of the outcome. Many of us attempt to cope by trying to control the outcome—planning meticulously, worrying endlessly, or seeking constant reassurance. I’ve found this approach often leads to frustration, anxiety, and a false sense of security that crumbles when reality doesn’t match our expectations.
The real key to embracing uncertainty is not in fearing or controlling the outcome itself but in shifting our focus to what we can control: our ability to react, manage, and adjust to whatever happens. By building confidence in our ability to navigate uncertainty, we reclaim our sense of control—not over the outcome itself, but over our own response to it.
Shifting the Focus from Outcome to Response
Many of our anxieties stem from the belief that we must dictate the outcome of uncertain situations to feel safe. We think, If I can just guarantee this relationship works out, secure this job, get this patient to understand my perspective, or ensure my health stays perfect, then I’ll be okay. But the real reality is that we don’t have full control over these outcomes. External factors, other people’s decisions, and the unpredictability of life itself all deal out their respective cards.
We are small boats navigating windy, choppy waters. We can’t control the wind or the waters. But we can control the strength of our own boat.
We create and control our own response to uncertainty. Instead of asking, “How do I make sure this turns out exactly how I want?” I challenge you to instead ask, “How do I prepare myself to handle any outcome with resilience and grace?” This shift in perspective moves us from a place of fear and helplessness to one of empowerment and confidence.
The Art of Embracing Uncertainty
Becoming confident in your ability to handle whatever life throws your way is an art: it takes time, patience, and a lot of practice to develop and refine the skill. Here are a few tips I’ve learned along the way on how to develop this muscle and strengthen your boat so that it’s water ready for any choppy seas.
1. Strengthen Your Problem-Solving Skills
Uncertainty often feels overwhelming because we fear not knowing what to do if things go wrong. Strengthening problem-solving skills—by learning how to assess situations, explore all options, communicate effectively under stress, and make informed decisions—can increase our confidence. When we trust ourselves to figure things out as they come, uncertainty becomes less daunting.
2. Develop Emotional Resilience
Resilience is the ability to recover from setbacks and adapt to change. It’s the hidden superpower for any stressful situation. When we cultivate resilience through mindfulness, self-awareness, and emotional regulation, we become better equipped to handle whatever life throws our way. Instead of fearing disappointment or failure, we can trust in our capacity to work through challenges and emerge stronger.
3. Accept That Discomfort is Part of Growth
We resist uncertainty because it feels uncomfortable. But discomfort isn’t a sign that something is wrong—it’s a natural part of change and growth. Leg muscles are sore the first day you return from a long run not because running is bad for you, but because your leg muscles are growing stronger for you. When we learn to sit with discomfort rather than fight it, we reduce the need for immediate certainty and open ourselves to new possibilities.
4. Reframe Uncertainty as Opportunity
Uncertainty can feel like a threat, but it can also be an opportunity. A job loss might lead to a better career path you never considered. I met a super successful “professional organizer” yesterday. She is great at what she does, loves what she does, and her business is booming. I asked her, “How did you get into ‘professional organizing?’ It seems so niche.” She replied, “I was laid off from my corporate job during COVID. I probably would have never quit on my own, even though I was not very happy or satisfied. But after I got laid off, I decided to create a business around what I truly love doing.”
Opportunity arising from loss. Similarly, a challenging patient interaction or a personal health challenge can often deepen our own personal appreciation for life. By reframing uncertainty as a doorway to new experiences and perspectives rather than a looming disaster, we change how we relate to it.
5. Focus on What You Can Control—Your Actions and Attitude
We may not control outcomes, but we always control our own actions and attitudes. We can choose to communicate openly in a relationship, work diligently in our careers, and take care of our health. Even in the most uncertain situations, we get to decide how we show up, how we treat others, and how we care for ourselves. Despite the stormiest seas, we are always in control of our own sails.
Find Freedom in Letting Go
Ironically, the more we try to control uncertain outcomes, the more stressed and powerless we often feel. True freedom comes from letting go of the need for certainty and trusting in our ability to handle the unknown. This isn’t about passivity or resignation—it’s about actively preparing to navigate uncertainty with confidence and grace.
When we shift our focus from controlling the future to strengthening our ability to handle it, we find a deeper sense of peace and security—not in knowing exactly what will happen, but in knowing we’ll be okay no matter what does. Build a strong ship that can withstand any storm.
So the next time anxiety or uncertainty arises for you, instead of asking, “How do I make sure this turns out the way I want?” try asking, “How can I best prepare myself to handle whatever happens?” The answer to THAT question is where real control—and real peace—lies.
Happy boating!
-Lauren